Dear readers,
I have some fantastic news. After twelve years of renting homes in Arlington, we are officially becoming homeowners. Amid the excitement of homebuying, there is a bittersweet feeling about leaving a neighborhood we love.
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My wife was pregnant when we first moved into this home. It was a stroke of luck to find the place – we were definitely trading up. We had our baby just five months after moving in, and our neighbors already had two boys, ages three and five.
As a new parent with a tiny blob of a baby, I did not think our son would ever be able to keep up with those running, jumping, yelling boys next door. But sure enough, as our son has learned to walk and run and play, those boys have become his heroes. United by proximity alone, the family next door became our go-to dinner pals and Saturday playdates. Never planned well in advance, just on the chance of happenstance.
This topic of neighborly-ness is often on my mind at work in Downtown Arlington, where our job is quite literally to help build up a neighborhood. It is easy to think about buildings, businesses, sidewalks, events, and customers. Those things matter. But at the heart of it all, it is about people.
We are lucky to have an office in the heart of the bustling Front Street area, surrounded by people who have slowly become part of the rhythm of our lives. You get to know the folks at Union Worx coworking two doors down. You run into Nate and Scott and end up talking about more than the workday. You pop into Wondrous Works and check in with Ellen and her son’s graduation. You grab lunch at Hurtado and ask Kreyton how things are going. You learn the names of baristas, servers, artists, business owners, city staff, volunteers, and the regulars who seem to appear at every event.
Over time, those small interactions become something more meaningful. You see people’s careers advance. You hear when someone gets married. You ask about the vacation they finally took. You watch a business grow, change, experiment, struggle, rebound, and find its footing. You celebrate the new sign, the new lease, the new menu item, the new hire, the new baby, the new dream. You worry when things slow down. You check in after a hard week. You care, genuinely, about how things go for them.
That, to me, is the soul of supporting small business. It is not only about where we spend our dollars, though that matters a great deal. It is about choosing to be invested in the lives of the people who are invested in our city.
One of the greatest joys in life is to know and be known. I am sure true introverts exist, and I respect them deeply, but I also think many of us hold back because we are afraid of being judged. To those people, I would gently say this: no one is judging you half as much as you judge yourself. Most people are good. Most people want good things for you, even if they do not know you
well yet.
And belonging is not something we should wait for someone else to build for us.
As we prepare to move into a new neighborhood, I keep thinking about the kind of neighbor I want to be. I do not want to wait years to say hello. I do not want to assume the worst. I do not want to live beside people without knowing anything about them.
So here is my small challenge to you, and to myself: self-organize.
Do not wait for the city, a nonprofit, an HOA, or a formal committee to create community for you. Host the block party. Invite a few neighbors over for dinner. Pull some chairs into the driveway. Start the text thread. Organize a Saturday morning cleanup. Take a walk and introduce yourself to the people you always pass but never speak to. Shop the small business you have been meaning to visit. Ask the owner how things are going. Check on the older neighbor after a storm. Bring cookies to the new family on the street. Start with the people in proximity, and let proximity become relationship.
And if you are not the activator, that is okay. Not everyone is built to be the person with the clipboard, the group text, or the sign-up sheet. But you can still be a joiner.
Join the Chamber. Join the bowling league. Join the PTA, the book club, the running group, the volunteer committee, the church small group, the neighborhood cleanup, or the friend-of-a-friend dinner where you only know one person. Say yes when someone invites you. Show up a little awkwardly. Be willing to be new.
Community is not built only by the people who organize things. It is built by the people who show up.
We nourish our own lives by being invested in the lives of others.
That is true on a quiet, tree-lined street. It is true in a bustling downtown. And I hope it will be true in our new neighborhood, too.
Garret Martin is Vice President of Downtown Arlington Management Corporation.
